I am still walking around in a constant state of unease in my own home.
I haven't slept good all week, I should say I've barely slept all week. I toss and turn and lay awake staring at the ceiling then when sleep does finally creep up on me it doesn't last long. I may sleep for a half hour then wake up freakin out over some little noise I heard.
Detective Williams has semi redeemed himself. He has stopped by twice now unexpectedly to follow up some leads (he's actually doing his job) and he wasn't an ass when he was here. So I am not going to take back everything I said about him but I will say he's doing much better now.
I still think the utter absurdity that me...a coupon clipping, gardening, crafting work at home mom of three was being treated like a con artist, scamming criminal was just completely ridiculous. I don't use drugs, I don't engage in illegal activities, I don't even drink much. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I drink alcohol...in a year.
I watch enough cop shows to know that Detectives are usually jerks, par for the course I suppose. Perhaps the cocky attitude is essential to being a detective or maybe they just believe they have to fill the Hollywood stereotypes or maybe it actually serves a purpose and throws people off so they are caught off guard. I don't know but I didn't like it being I was the victim no the criminal.
Anyway I'm over it. Not the break in itself but the treatment I received by the detective. He doesn't know me at all and I don't really care what he thinks of me as long as he's out there doing his job.
I have to live with what happened and deal with that in my own way...however that's going to be. Right now everyone is treating me like I am fragile and need to be checked up on. My mom calls me like a million times a day as does my husband. Even my eldest son's girlfriend drops by to check and see if I'm OK. My husband calls to tell me where he's at, if he's close by and whether or not some of our male friends that live close by are home in case I need anything. It is sweet and it is wonderful that everyone cares that much about me.
Our close friends' 19 year old son (my eldest son's best friend, I call him son 2- together they are son 1 and son 2 like Thing 1 and Thing 2) stayed with me the first two days after the break in so I wouldn't be alone during the day. He even installed a security camera on my front porch over my door.
So everyone is being really wonderful. I just wonder when I am actually going to get it together and really feel as okay as I tell everyone I am.
My husband even tried to teach me how to shoot a gun. Yeah, that didn't go over well. I hate the noise power tools make can you imagine trying to deal with a gun. Ugh! I hated it and I don't care to ever touch it again.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Story of My Home Invasion
If any of you follow me on twitter you may have heard a little about what happened to me on Monday June 1st.
Well, here's the whole story.
I had a massive migraine Monday morning so I went back to bed after my oldest children left for school. Around 11 am I was woken up by a loud noise. I walk out of my bedroom and into the living room to find a large man with a gun in my living room.
He's yelling at me not to look at him, asking me who else is with me in the house (just my three year old who was right behind me coming out of the bedroom), and asking me for my money. It was so dark in my house I couldn't see any good details of the man other than that he was a large black man. My curtains had not been opened and it was an overcast day so it might as well have been night in the living room plus I was freakin out and trying not to look at him. I pushed my son back into the bedroom behind me and the guy ran out of the house.
The whole thing probably took less than a minute. I don't think the guy expected anyone to be home. He seen us and left but grabbed my purse and cell phone on the way out because they were sitting on my desk by the front door. I'll never leave them there again!
You know it figures that this one time I would have cash in my purse too. I NEVER carry cash, never. We have direct deposit all transactions are done my debit card that way I can track spending and not deal with cash. But this one time my son had completed a pressure washing job on Sunday and had put the cash ($120) in my wallet so I could deposit it in the bank and order a clutch for his truck on Monday. Then this bullshit happens.
Anyway as soon as I knew the guy was out of my house I tried to shut and lock my door. It didn't work the door knob was all screwed up. I tried to lock it, unlock it whatever but it was all jammed. I couldn't even shut the door.
I grabbed the home phone and called 911. The police were here fast. And they were all polite and helpful but jeez 2-6 people talking and asking me questions all at once was a little much at times. They were trying to help but I kept having to give the same story over and over which wasn't much. I couldn't give a good description of the guy, what he was wearing or the car he was driving.
It all happened so fast and I was so shocked I didn't see much. My number one concern was keeping my son out of the line of fire that is all I cared about.
After the regular police got my story and everything was done with them this skinny weasel looking guy in plain clothes that looks twelve sits down. He says flat out "I've been a detective a long time (what 20 minutes?) and something about this doesn't sit right with me. I knew where he was headed (I have intuition and brains) and he blabbered on about it not making sense (not sure what didn't make sense- guy ran in discovered people were home guy ran out and grabbed what he could on the way out which was my purse and a cell phone).
This prick of a cop asked all kinds of questions like if me or my "boyfriend or husband or whatever" (he was very insulting in the way he spoke to me like I was the criminal dirtbag, oh yeah, that's me, writer by day criminal mastermind by night...or vice versa considering this happened during the day)had problems with anyone in the area or did drugs? When I said no to the drugs he asked again "never?" DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN CRACK HEAD OR SOMETHING? Sure I had on no makeup and my hair wasn't even brushed since the guy that broke into my house woke me up but damn did I look that skanky? Seriously? But honestly it doesn't matter how I looked the detective (Detective James Williams #55) should have treated me with a little more respect. I AM THE FREAKING VICTIM HERE!
Detective Dickhead went on to ask me questions about my family, where my husband worked, where was my oldest son, even asked my age (like that matters). Then he messes with my door. "This door doesn't even shut."
NOT ANYMORE FUCKWIT! (pardon my language but ignorance pisses me off and I turn into a foul mouthed creature that could make a trucker blush)
Let's see guy breaks into my house, don't know if he kicked the door or jammed it with a tool but he broke the door knob and the door would no longer shut. But I guess I did that too.
Detective Dipshit proceeds to grill me about the door. Yeah, I locked it. No I wouldn't sit in a house in this area (or anywhere for that matter) with a door that won't lock, hell won't even shut! Then he says there are no marks on the door, no dents. Uhh, steel door asswipe! They don't dent easily.
I knew where the asshole was going. I told him flat out that if I was going to fake some robbery for an insurance scam that I would magically make more than my ($20 Wal-Mart) purse, $120, and my cheap nokia flip cell phone disappear. That and the cost to fix the door still wouldn't exceed my $500 (possibly $1000) home insurance deductible.
Then he asked if I have ever filed a police report before. I said no, not personally. That my husband did when our go cart was stolen out of our yard a couple years ago. But other than that no. I guess I made a mistake by asking him how to get a copy of mine if I needed it (curious I like to see what's written about me and how the process works). Guess that made me look guilty again wanting the police report. I am so fucking sorry I like to be informed. I am not filing an insurance claim, not worth the headache. I've already had to file enough crap to get new insurance cards, debit cards, and all that. I still need to get a new drivers license and social security card.
Anyway this Detective NitWit made me feel like a criminal, treated me like the bad guy and I am so freakin pissed about it.
After all that he left. Left me alone with my three year old and a door that didn't even shut after my house had been robbed. All the cops left. Can you believe that? They left me alone. My husband was over an hour drive away. He called J and had him come over and stay with me until he could get home.
I told him all about Mt Morris Township's Detective James Williams being such an ass and blaming me for it all.
Well that just pissed my Italian redneck husband right off!
My husband had the Detective come back and talk to him. The Detective ass was rude, hostile and a complete jerk to my husband as well. Said that none of it made sense (really? doesn't sound difficult to follow for me, empty looking house, secluded area, guy wanted fast cash, wasn't expecting anyone to be home.... still following? Is that hard for you to follow? Sure was for Detective Weasel Dick who has 15 years experience, straight from the crib I guess)
Want to hear another completely bullshit thing the cop did? He flat out lied to my husband saying that I was really concerned about filing the police report for an insurance claim. Really? He brought the whole thing up! Then he told my husband that I had said I wasn't sure if I locked the door.
Yeah right. I ALWAYS LOCK MY DOORS! I am real particular about it. OCD particular about my routines. I don't forget shit.
Hubby looked at Detective Jerk Off and said "Now I know you're lying cause that woman don't forget a thing and has the same routine every morning. She watches our daughter get on the bus, shuts and locks the door and goes back to bed for awhile."
I also don't lie. I repeat I DO NOT LIE! Ask anyone close to me. I am painfully honest, painful to the point where I should lie but I tell the truth anyway even if someone's feelings may get a little hurt.
That's what is really killing me and making me angry. I have lived a rough life, I have survived some crap. A lot of people have done me dirty, people intimately close to me. I survived. I went on. I work hard, I live a good, honest life. I do my part to make the world a better place.
Then some stranger breaks into my safe haven, my sanctuary and THE FREAKIN COP TELLS ME I MADE IT ALL UP! mainly because I was too calm. TOO CALM! I ain't calm no more!
Here's the deal, you ever watch Bones? You know how Tempe is a little detached from the rest of the world? Well that's kinda how I am. Only not as smart. Or as completely socially inept (though slightly, socially awkward).
Anyway. I am not an emotional person (unless someone dies or I watch Marley & Me, damn movie had me gushing tears). I have lived with predators. Predator see emotion as weakness and will attack. I learned how to control my emotions through detachment and meditation.
I do not make a scene in public, I don't do public displays of affection or public displays of emotion.
Sure this was my kitchen but it was filled with strangers and I wasn't going to break down in front of strangers. Plus my three year old was there. If I fell apart and went into hysterics so would he and who would take of him then?
I stayed calm and he didn't freak or get traumatized. If I would have lost my head he would have started crying and freaking out. That was the last thing I wanted so I held it together. And he came out fine, with a story to tell, but hopefully no nightmares in the future.
Anyway, so I didn't cry, I didn't freak, I kept my head on my shoulders and told my story to the cops without falling apart. I did that later in the privacy of my own bedroom where no one was watching.
But because I didn't cry that means I was lying. HELLO? I think a big part of it was shock. It all happened so fast I didn't process the whole thing until later.
Now I am freaked. I couldn't sleep last night. I was afraid to be alone in the house today.
What's the first thing a man does when a woman is all hysterical? He tells her to calm done. I guess since I didn't play the damsel in distress or big man with a badge come rescue me and they were denied the chance to tell me to calm done they didn't like it much.
Or maybe Detective Williams has issues with women, especially strong women who don;t quiver and fall apart. Big (little really) Bad Cop with a badge has mommy issues or maybe his woman just dumped him. Who knows but I think the guy needs counseling because he's supposed to be protecting and helping the victim not making them feel small and insecure. He's probably not even going to look for the guy that broke into my house because you know according to him he doesn't exist.
I think Detective Williams is just a lazy son of a bitch that won't do his job. God forbid someone in Flint actually do their job. Go ahead let the criminals get away with murder because hey according to you it was a work of fiction. I guess that means less paperwork for him and a whole lot less work. If these idiots can't do their jobs, you know actually catch the bad guys and treat victims with a little bit of decency and respect then they need to hire other people.
I see stupid people....they don't know they are stupid. And one carries a badge.
God help us all when the ones that carry badges are worse than the criminals.
While Detective Williams refuses to do his job I sit in a house that no longer feels safe. I can't sleep. I live in fear that someone is going to bust through my door, or window or whatever...and this time he won't just run off.
God, it could have been so much worse. (HE HAD A GUN) And I am so thankful it wasn't.
I would feel an awful lot better though if the guy that did it was behind bars. I am not expecting any miracles though.
Well, here's the whole story.
I had a massive migraine Monday morning so I went back to bed after my oldest children left for school. Around 11 am I was woken up by a loud noise. I walk out of my bedroom and into the living room to find a large man with a gun in my living room.
He's yelling at me not to look at him, asking me who else is with me in the house (just my three year old who was right behind me coming out of the bedroom), and asking me for my money. It was so dark in my house I couldn't see any good details of the man other than that he was a large black man. My curtains had not been opened and it was an overcast day so it might as well have been night in the living room plus I was freakin out and trying not to look at him. I pushed my son back into the bedroom behind me and the guy ran out of the house.
The whole thing probably took less than a minute. I don't think the guy expected anyone to be home. He seen us and left but grabbed my purse and cell phone on the way out because they were sitting on my desk by the front door. I'll never leave them there again!
You know it figures that this one time I would have cash in my purse too. I NEVER carry cash, never. We have direct deposit all transactions are done my debit card that way I can track spending and not deal with cash. But this one time my son had completed a pressure washing job on Sunday and had put the cash ($120) in my wallet so I could deposit it in the bank and order a clutch for his truck on Monday. Then this bullshit happens.
Anyway as soon as I knew the guy was out of my house I tried to shut and lock my door. It didn't work the door knob was all screwed up. I tried to lock it, unlock it whatever but it was all jammed. I couldn't even shut the door.
I grabbed the home phone and called 911. The police were here fast. And they were all polite and helpful but jeez 2-6 people talking and asking me questions all at once was a little much at times. They were trying to help but I kept having to give the same story over and over which wasn't much. I couldn't give a good description of the guy, what he was wearing or the car he was driving.
It all happened so fast and I was so shocked I didn't see much. My number one concern was keeping my son out of the line of fire that is all I cared about.
After the regular police got my story and everything was done with them this skinny weasel looking guy in plain clothes that looks twelve sits down. He says flat out "I've been a detective a long time (what 20 minutes?) and something about this doesn't sit right with me. I knew where he was headed (I have intuition and brains) and he blabbered on about it not making sense (not sure what didn't make sense- guy ran in discovered people were home guy ran out and grabbed what he could on the way out which was my purse and a cell phone).
This prick of a cop asked all kinds of questions like if me or my "boyfriend or husband or whatever" (he was very insulting in the way he spoke to me like I was the criminal dirtbag, oh yeah, that's me, writer by day criminal mastermind by night...or vice versa considering this happened during the day)had problems with anyone in the area or did drugs? When I said no to the drugs he asked again "never?" DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN CRACK HEAD OR SOMETHING? Sure I had on no makeup and my hair wasn't even brushed since the guy that broke into my house woke me up but damn did I look that skanky? Seriously? But honestly it doesn't matter how I looked the detective (Detective James Williams #55) should have treated me with a little more respect. I AM THE FREAKING VICTIM HERE!
Detective Dickhead went on to ask me questions about my family, where my husband worked, where was my oldest son, even asked my age (like that matters). Then he messes with my door. "This door doesn't even shut."
NOT ANYMORE FUCKWIT! (pardon my language but ignorance pisses me off and I turn into a foul mouthed creature that could make a trucker blush)
Let's see guy breaks into my house, don't know if he kicked the door or jammed it with a tool but he broke the door knob and the door would no longer shut. But I guess I did that too.
Detective Dipshit proceeds to grill me about the door. Yeah, I locked it. No I wouldn't sit in a house in this area (or anywhere for that matter) with a door that won't lock, hell won't even shut! Then he says there are no marks on the door, no dents. Uhh, steel door asswipe! They don't dent easily.
I knew where the asshole was going. I told him flat out that if I was going to fake some robbery for an insurance scam that I would magically make more than my ($20 Wal-Mart) purse, $120, and my cheap nokia flip cell phone disappear. That and the cost to fix the door still wouldn't exceed my $500 (possibly $1000) home insurance deductible.
Then he asked if I have ever filed a police report before. I said no, not personally. That my husband did when our go cart was stolen out of our yard a couple years ago. But other than that no. I guess I made a mistake by asking him how to get a copy of mine if I needed it (curious I like to see what's written about me and how the process works). Guess that made me look guilty again wanting the police report. I am so fucking sorry I like to be informed. I am not filing an insurance claim, not worth the headache. I've already had to file enough crap to get new insurance cards, debit cards, and all that. I still need to get a new drivers license and social security card.
Anyway this Detective NitWit made me feel like a criminal, treated me like the bad guy and I am so freakin pissed about it.
After all that he left. Left me alone with my three year old and a door that didn't even shut after my house had been robbed. All the cops left. Can you believe that? They left me alone. My husband was over an hour drive away. He called J and had him come over and stay with me until he could get home.
I told him all about Mt Morris Township's Detective James Williams being such an ass and blaming me for it all.
Well that just pissed my Italian redneck husband right off!
My husband had the Detective come back and talk to him. The Detective ass was rude, hostile and a complete jerk to my husband as well. Said that none of it made sense (really? doesn't sound difficult to follow for me, empty looking house, secluded area, guy wanted fast cash, wasn't expecting anyone to be home.... still following? Is that hard for you to follow? Sure was for Detective Weasel Dick who has 15 years experience, straight from the crib I guess)
Want to hear another completely bullshit thing the cop did? He flat out lied to my husband saying that I was really concerned about filing the police report for an insurance claim. Really? He brought the whole thing up! Then he told my husband that I had said I wasn't sure if I locked the door.
Yeah right. I ALWAYS LOCK MY DOORS! I am real particular about it. OCD particular about my routines. I don't forget shit.
Hubby looked at Detective Jerk Off and said "Now I know you're lying cause that woman don't forget a thing and has the same routine every morning. She watches our daughter get on the bus, shuts and locks the door and goes back to bed for awhile."
I also don't lie. I repeat I DO NOT LIE! Ask anyone close to me. I am painfully honest, painful to the point where I should lie but I tell the truth anyway even if someone's feelings may get a little hurt.
That's what is really killing me and making me angry. I have lived a rough life, I have survived some crap. A lot of people have done me dirty, people intimately close to me. I survived. I went on. I work hard, I live a good, honest life. I do my part to make the world a better place.
Then some stranger breaks into my safe haven, my sanctuary and THE FREAKIN COP TELLS ME I MADE IT ALL UP! mainly because I was too calm. TOO CALM! I ain't calm no more!
Here's the deal, you ever watch Bones? You know how Tempe is a little detached from the rest of the world? Well that's kinda how I am. Only not as smart. Or as completely socially inept (though slightly, socially awkward).
Anyway. I am not an emotional person (unless someone dies or I watch Marley & Me, damn movie had me gushing tears). I have lived with predators. Predator see emotion as weakness and will attack. I learned how to control my emotions through detachment and meditation.
I do not make a scene in public, I don't do public displays of affection or public displays of emotion.
Sure this was my kitchen but it was filled with strangers and I wasn't going to break down in front of strangers. Plus my three year old was there. If I fell apart and went into hysterics so would he and who would take of him then?
I stayed calm and he didn't freak or get traumatized. If I would have lost my head he would have started crying and freaking out. That was the last thing I wanted so I held it together. And he came out fine, with a story to tell, but hopefully no nightmares in the future.
Anyway, so I didn't cry, I didn't freak, I kept my head on my shoulders and told my story to the cops without falling apart. I did that later in the privacy of my own bedroom where no one was watching.
But because I didn't cry that means I was lying. HELLO? I think a big part of it was shock. It all happened so fast I didn't process the whole thing until later.
Now I am freaked. I couldn't sleep last night. I was afraid to be alone in the house today.
What's the first thing a man does when a woman is all hysterical? He tells her to calm done. I guess since I didn't play the damsel in distress or big man with a badge come rescue me and they were denied the chance to tell me to calm done they didn't like it much.
Or maybe Detective Williams has issues with women, especially strong women who don;t quiver and fall apart. Big (little really) Bad Cop with a badge has mommy issues or maybe his woman just dumped him. Who knows but I think the guy needs counseling because he's supposed to be protecting and helping the victim not making them feel small and insecure. He's probably not even going to look for the guy that broke into my house because you know according to him he doesn't exist.
I think Detective Williams is just a lazy son of a bitch that won't do his job. God forbid someone in Flint actually do their job. Go ahead let the criminals get away with murder because hey according to you it was a work of fiction. I guess that means less paperwork for him and a whole lot less work. If these idiots can't do their jobs, you know actually catch the bad guys and treat victims with a little bit of decency and respect then they need to hire other people.
I see stupid people....they don't know they are stupid. And one carries a badge.
God help us all when the ones that carry badges are worse than the criminals.
While Detective Williams refuses to do his job I sit in a house that no longer feels safe. I can't sleep. I live in fear that someone is going to bust through my door, or window or whatever...and this time he won't just run off.
God, it could have been so much worse. (HE HAD A GUN) And I am so thankful it wasn't.
I would feel an awful lot better though if the guy that did it was behind bars. I am not expecting any miracles though.
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